She wrote a full account of the assault and how she recovered from the ordeal on her website as below:
It troubles me that this story contains sorrow, when so many need the opposite of that at this time. I can only hope that my words serve as a momentary distraction or maybe even some comfort that one can come out of darkness.
We are in troubling times, where we’ve not seen such national and global worry since World War II. Now, it’s more important than ever to think about the impact we have on each APPLE – Cover in Pelle per iPhone 7 colore Blu elettrico – ePRICE other.
There will be great change to come from our shared crisis, a renewed understanding and appreciation of freedom and human connection but nothing comforts loss, only time.
I’m not an academic or public speaker but I have to mention our current THE FLASH WOODEN Cover iPhone 5 / 5S / SE crisis. These are tragic days. Like you I worry about relatives, loved ones and colleagues. Our tears are shared. The only cure now is prevention, by staying in and allowing the frontline workers to cope.
I could have decided to not release further words during these times, I don’t think there is ever a right time, since promising to follow up in due course.
If you are reading this, I must warn you it contains information THERE IS ONLY ONE FLASH Cover iPhone 5 / 5S / SE some may find upsetting. This story is not going anywhere, it will remain online, if you are not able to take on someone else’s suffering or the recounting of such, I recommend you do not read on.
For me, in these hours I recall the words of Maya Angelou who once said, “there is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you” and I share mine with you Ferrari SF Silicone Cover iPhone X – Black2B Egypt today.
I posted the words I wrote, a few weeks ago, because I was tired of hiding. Never feeling free or burden free. I had become enmeshed with TOTORO KAWAI Cover iPhone 5 / 5S / SE my story like a dark secret. It made me alone and feel alone.
What is also hard to explain is that, in hiding, in not talking, I was allowing the rape to become a companion. Me and it living in my being, I no longer wanted to feel that intimacy with it, a decade of that intimacy has been destructive. I had to set myself free. I have been hurt and it would have been dangerous to talk from that hurt place in the past, prior to feeling ready.
Unable to do what I am doing today, previously, I also considered and explored human rights laws to change my name off public record and disappear to another country and maybe become a florist or something, so that I could put the past behind with a new life and not trouble anyone else with it, to carry it alone.
Because, although I was almost unfindable, I daydreamed of having a different haircut, a new name, a boyfriend, and become completely forever forgotten. As time went on it then became about realising, I can’t keep hiding, as thrilling as coffee in Paris seems.
Since the incident I experienced happened, it was upsetting to think of talking openly, frightening. Seasons would pass and come and go and I would be further removed from where I once was, every year. The longer I left it, the less I could see an image in my mind, of something I recognised that I could reach back to. That’s why I, at times, would admit defeat and think I can’t ever talk and face it. So, I should just keep disappearing, turn the lights off in my life.
Having not yet established a thriving personal life, or had my own family, I would be anguished thinking if I reveal my story publicly, openly to the world, it would hinder my future romantic life. This is not exactly the advert I wanted before meeting the love of my life.
I would also worry about coming back to music and the THE NEIGHBOURHOOD THE BEACH Cover iPhone 5 / 5S / SE risk of constantly facing the question of “what happened”, “where did you disappear to”, “why did you DSquared2 Black Silicone iPhone 7 Cover at FORZIERI vanish”, “what have you been up Silicone Custodia iPhone X / iPhone 10 Vendetta Cane Emoji to for so many years”.
I could not imagine fabricating some story, that I had been rowing across the world’s seas, I would have had to lie, and I couldn’t lie. So, between fears of not being able to emotionally withstand speaking, not being able to lie and worries Cover iPhone 6s/6 4.7 360 gradi siliconeCustodia iPhone 6s/6 4.7 of being forever single, I would decide to not speak at all, remain vanished or to daydream of reinventing myself forever.
I thought the public disclosure of my story would utterly destroy my life, emotionally, while hiding my story was destroying my life so much more. I believe that not singing is killing me. So, I just have to be strong and disclose it and face all my fears head on. I’ve come to realise I can’t erase myself, I live in my being, so I have to be completely honest and have faith in the outcome.
I never knew if I would get to the place of being able to do this, I am TOKIDOKI DONUTELLA UNICORNO CIAO Cover iPhone 5 / 5S / SE grateful to get here. Not everyone has the privilege of being able to talk, such as I am doing today, stories much more heinous and sorrowful, more inhumane than mine, go untold every day.
All of our lives have immense meaning and value and when we come to really realise nothing matters but humanity, we begin to really see each other, by the tragedies and joys we all share. TORONTO BLUE JAYS BASEBALL Cover iPhone 5 / 5S / SE Our smiles and our tears are what make us all the same.
And while we are observing a great amount of suffering and loss in our world, in what seems like a battle that cannot be won, it compels us to truly appreciate the gift of life, and the gift of love, and the values that matter the most.
I have been very warned by some I know not to tell you what I am about to tell you. Some alluded that I would pretty much be finished in whatever chances I have to make music publicly again, some have said I would be scorned by the public, another said I would be called selfish that the rapist is still at large.
It has served to delay my talking by weeks, and me just lying in bed looking at the ceiling trying to find meaning. I take my personal freedom over any amount of stones that can be thrown at me. If I destroy my future, I do it to honour my past.
Rape stripped me of my human rights, to experience a life with autonomy from fear. It has already stolen one third my of life. Deep down I do know it Cappuccetto rosso e la cover a crochet diy per l'iphone e lo would have been a shame and done such an immense disservice to my existence to just delete myself and forget what I had experienced in TPU Silicon Cover Iphone 5 5S SE 6 6S 7 8 Plus X XS CaseShopee music publicly.
It was also not just my burden, so many others lived with the big question too of “what happened”. The record label, live agents, promoters, publicists, musicians, stylists, hairdressers, make up, lighting, production, crew, people I would meet, people I once knew. No one, utterly no one, knew what happened. It kept me removed from those I could actually trust. Mostly I did not want to trouble anyone else with what I had experienced.
The final catalyst of wanting to talk was unusual I think, what really 3C COLLECTION COVER Iphone 7 Gelato Silicone Cover Iphone 8 finally made me go “I just can’t bear the weight of SILICONE COVER PER Apple iPhone 11/11 Pro Max – vari colori – EUR this anymore”. It was so simple but so profound, what would be the catalyst to make Thin Soft Case For iPhone 11 Original Liquid Silicone Cover Candy me un trap myself.
It was being told by a male, I had come to know and really like as a friend, that “most men would run a mile if they knew you were raped”. I crumbled. I felt very hurt for a few days and reflected a lot and I thought, one night, like an epiphany, that the knowledge of my truth me no less lovable’. The dream of love did die, I finally realised it didn’t need to. And just like a light came on I realised ‘I know what it is to hurt, therefore I know what it is to be human’.
Please skip the next twenty lines if you do Cover iPhone 8 Cover iPhone 7 Custodia Jenuos Trasparente not want to read the exact account of the kidnapping.
It was my birthday, I was drugged at a restaurant, I was drugged then for four weeks and travelled to a foreign country. I can’t remember getting on the plane and came round in the back of a travelling vehicle. I was put into a hotel room and the perpetrator returned and raped me. I remember the pain and trying to stay conscious in the room after it happened. I was stuck with him for another day, he didn’t look at me, I was to walk behind him, I was somewhat conscious and withdrawn. I could have been disposed of by him. I contemplated running away to the neighbouring city or town, as he slept, but had no cash and I was afraid he would call the police on me, for running away, and maybe they would track me down as a missing person. I do not know how I had the strength to endure those days, I did feel the presence of something that helped me stay alive. I flew back with him, I stayed calm and as normal as someone could in a situation like that, and when I got home, I sat, dazed, like a zombie. I knew my life was in immediate danger, he made veiled confessions of wanting to kill me. With what little strength I had, my instinct China Luxury Hard Bumper TPU Mobile Cover for iPhone 7 Cases was to then run, to run and find somewhere to live that he could not find…